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What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love: Healing the Emotional Legacy of Racism
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"Mama," writes Brenda Richardson, "you taught me how a black woman could survive and prevail in this world...but because you never learned yourself, you couldn't tell me how to make love work...I don't mean any disrespect, Mama, but...now I have children of my own. And in a loud revolutionary voice, I declare to the universe: the pain stops here."
Clinical psychologist Dr. Brenda Wade and coauthor Brenda Richardson ask their African American sisters to consider this question: "What lessons about love and intimacy were passed down from your foremothers to you?" In this provocative rethinking of the African American woman's experience, the authors suggest that African American women share an emotional legacy that began when their ancestors were dragged in chains to the "New" World and continued as their descendants suffered through the violence and humiliation of the Jim Crow period and later racism. Indeed, they argue, the long shadow cast by these historical events impacts romantic practice, lives can be transformed once there is a true understanding of the power of inherited beliefs.
What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love shows how important it is to grieve and make peace with this brutal history. As you will see in this remarkable uplifting book, it is possible to use the positive messages inherent in the African American experience to create a better life. Learn from the "Sisters Spirits"--well-known African Americans whose stories enliven these pages--as you move toward emotional freedom. Listen to the words of the spirituals interspersed in the text, enhance the coping skills and strengths your forebears harnessed to help them survive and prevail, and believe that emotional emancipation is your birthright.
Mama may not have told you all this in so many words--but there is no doubt that she would want to see you take these last steps toward freedom and abundant love.
- Sales Rank: #243424 in eBooks
- Published on: 2009-10-13
- Released on: 2009-10-13
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"A provocative blend of scholarly wisdom and woman-to-woman insight that allows sisters to closely examine their choices in intimate relationships. "-- Julia A. Boyd, author of "In the Company of My Sisters"""What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love" forces us to wade in the water' of the grief and pain associated with the peculiar institution of slavery, and to confront our own denial about the emotional legacy of enslavement. Richardson and Wade offer us psychological baptism, deliverance from isolation, despair and old prejudices, psychic healing, and purification of the spirit. Lord knows, America needs this book."-- Gwendolyn Goldsby Grant, Ph.D., author of "The Best Kind of Loving""A powerful, moving, and life-enhancing book that will help readers reconnect with the past and move forward into the future. It will change lives and hearts."-- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of "The Dance of Anger"""What Mama Couldn't Tell Us About Love" is like having a long afternoon on the porch talking with an old, dear sister-friend about things of the past and present and matters of the heart. Richardson and Wade remind us in down-to-earth, readable, practical prose that we intuitively know how to heal ourselves and one another. Women of all backgrounds will rush to read their wisdom."-- Charlotte Pierce-Baker, Ph.D., author of "Surviving the Silence""A wonderful gift to black women..Our foremothers created a dynamic culture to overcome a history of pain. Richardson and Wade, with pens dipped in abundant love, gracefully advise us as to the lessons of the past we must embrace and those we must discard, if we are to achieve true self-empowerment and emotional liberation."-- Darlene Clark Hine, Ph.D.,coauthor of "A Shining Thread of Hope: The History of Black Women in America"
About the Author
Brenda Lane Richardson, the author of Chesapeake Song, is an award-winning journalist and a noted public speaker.
Essence colmnist Dr. Brenda Wade is a clinical psychologist, a well-known television personality, and a popular public speaker who lectures widely across the country.
Dr. Brenda Wade is a clinical psychologist, the author of four books, and a frequent guest on Oprah, The Today Show, and other talk shows, news programs, and specials. She lives and practices in San Francisco, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Provocative, Enlightening, and Engaging
By A Customer
This book is an absolute MUST for any black woman (or man for that matter) who wants to deal with intergenerational scarcity beliefs which prevent us from truly experiencing love in our lives. Richardson and Wade do an excellent job of explaining how the slavery experience impacted every facet of black life and remnants of that impact are played out in our relationships with our family, friends, and mates. For instance, many of us can look back in our family tree to locate where different behavioral patterns (i.e. alcoholism, sexual abuse, obesity, etc.) developed and now play out in our own lives. The authors have you do a series of exercises, such as a genogram which lists the scarcity beliefs and self-destructive behaviors members of our families have developed and passed on to us, to help you begin to understand those internalized beliefs and behaviors which prevent us from experiencing real love. The book doesn't just focus on love relationships with mates but explores love relationships with ourselves, our family, and our mates. Personally, I found the chapter on anger to be the most provocative and enlightening. So much so that I have begun using the information I learned about my anger issues in my individual counseling sessions. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to deal with the pain of slavery and its reprecussions on our present day lives.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
This book is an excellent referal to women of all races.
By Ms. Poodie
This book should be recommended reading for all students between junior year in high school through any year in college. Warning though: The information is factual and candid for people of average intelligence and above that can handle the truth. I highly recommend to all ages as well of different nationalities.
This seller must have a diverse personality that offers good information to all buyers. I would purchase from this seller again.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Very informative and applicable to personal growth
By Lisa McGee
This is an excellent book and necessary for each one of us to read to better understand who we are and why we make the choices we have made and continue to make. If we want something different for our lives, this book introduces us to ways to examine the lives and choices of our mothers, grandmothers, etc., in an effort to make different choices......
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